The New Experience

So the New Xbox Experience, or NXE, has arrived... and I have to say I'm not exactly overwhelmed by it.

I wasn't expecting much out of it, so I can't really say I'm underwhelmed by it. I'm just not really whelmed at all.

The biggest feature is the avatars. First of all, why do these things not have names? Maybe I'll call them "Personal Avatars for the New Xbox Experience" or PANXEs (pansies). I guess that's my name for them since Microsoft didn't seem to bother naming them. How did they pass up a chance to trademark a new word? Someone's getting fired when Bill Gates eventually learns of this.

My biggest gripe with the Panxes is the limited options. No rearranging of features, no custom color options, and everybody stands in the exact same just-got-off-a-horse pose.

Microsoft, please let the Panxes have a chance to stand out; in the very least, take a page from Rock Band and let us select an "attitude."

I'm not sure letting a British company design the virtual likeness of American gamers was the best choice to begin with, but my experience has been that not a great deal of the gaming population is cutesy and adorably shy. We need some over-the-top moods to choose from, something not unheard of in this land of internet. Let me be nervous, angry, cheery, tipsy, confused, dopey, achy, or even rude.

Apart from that, the clothes could use much more of a selection. As my friend Ric inquired as he was dressing his Panxe, "Where are the grown up pants?" Not every gamer is a minor; we could use a lot more adult options. And that goes for the look of the panxes as well. Not only does everybody stand the same way, they all look the same age. Apparently they're preparing us for a euthanasia society.

And how about some layering options? Maybe I have seven moles on my face, why can't I speckle on more than one? Why can't I wear my xbox t-shirt over my long sleeve shirt? It is cold outside you know. But perhaps the long sleeve shirt would been fine... if I could change the color and add a logo!

Customization technology has been around quite a while, I don't know why they choose to ignore most of it. Perhaps Microsoft should have kept their Panxes to themselves until they were ready to give us an entire sandwich as opposed to just crumbs.