Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Exclusitiviness

I fear for the future of the Xbox.

As it stands now, they are, in my eyes, the top of the gaming mountain. Yes, the Wii is surpassing their sale numbers, but the Microsoft Machine has a slew of great games available and a bunch of them are exclusives. And therein lies the problem: their Exclusive franchises appear to have dried up.

For the past few months, there have been endless whining from Sony lovers about many of their games jumping ship to release simultaneously on the 360 (Devil May Cry, Resident Evil & Grand Theft Auto being the most discussed), but while the Xbox will be sharing many of these lucrative properties, there are few titles coming out that require anyone to own the 360.

Halo has ended (Halo Wars is coming, but with the genre switch, it will see a fraction of the hype and sales). Saints Row, Mercenaries & Lost Planet will have dual consoles sequels. And with Bioware being sucked up by EA, their RPGs will likely be spread around to any and every system that will have them.

Sony, despite the fanboy whinings, still has a closet full of personal properties. Ratchet & Clank, Metal Gear Solid, Grand Turismo, Tekken & Final Fantasy... as well as promising upcoming titles such as Littlebigplanet and Infamous.

Meanwhile, Nintendo has a wazoo-full of exclusives, but mostly out of necessity. 85% of the third-party Wii games just wouldn't work without the gimmicky controls.

Ninja Gaiden 2 may be the last chance for Microsoft to demand an audience. And that's if a PS3 port hasn't been announced by the time of the game's release. With Ninja Gaiden Sigma already on the PS3, it's hard to imagine the sequel not following eventually.

But perhaps a little reverse psychology might help out. If only Microsoft could convince Sony to take Fuzion Frenzy 3 as an exclusive, that would even the playing field.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

An Open Letter To Them High-Ups

Dear Microsoft (Attn: Xbox Live People):

Wanna make something useful for the next dashboard update?

How about giving me control over the scrolling text when I am looking to purchase something from the marketplace? I have a right analog stick on my controller, you know. I could be using that to scroll up and down through the item descriptions so that I may read at my own pace. If I doze off while waiting to read about your latest Arcade title, I probably won't be making the purchase.

And another handy-dandy idea would be to let me truly customize my dashboard themes. Sure, you tease me with that "customize" option, but that only lets me change two rather minor details. I've purchased these fancy-dan themes... let me choose where and how to use them. It would be awesome to pick-and-choose individual backgrounds from different theme packs... would I be hoping beyond hope for that? I would even be happy to settle with the ability to decide which background goes on which blade within the single theme selection. And I do like being happy. You want me to be happy, dontcha Mr. Microsoft Man Who Takes My Money?

Sincerely With Sincere Sincerity,
me


***

Since I'm feeling too lazy for a separate post...

I downloaded the new Grand Theft Auto 4 trailer (off of the Xbox Marketplace... see, it all ties in!) and I have to say, I am not impressed. It still looks like a PS2 game. Same stiff, blocky characters; no hair or clothing animation to speak of; an overall lack of texture; general unimpressiveness.

And the story department also seems to be eating at the same Rehash Diner. Generic Career Criminal dealing with Generic Underworld Types in old Scorsese plotlines.

Maybe they're intentionally trying to kill the hype, and then when the game comes out it can easily exceed the lowered expectations.

Right.

Maybe they should just not release any press materials before the game comes out.

Monday, December 10, 2007

GamePro Strikes Again!

I think I'll be sad when my GamePro subscription runs out, for I'll have less to read (though not much less.. is there a page minimum that must be achieved to officially be a magazine and not a pamphlet?) and definitely less to gripe about here. I think my last issue will be the May 2008 one, but with the renewal notices that have been bombarding me, you'd think it was much closer. I fear for my mailbox when the real end is near.

So, in the Jan 2008 issue (Do they need to date periodicals so far in advance these days? I'm sure the post-dating had something to do with slower delivery times of the past. Nowadays, it makes magazines look even worse because it's already older than info online the date it hits the stands.) GamePro gives their top rating of 5-out-of-5 to several games, such as Call of Duty 4 and Super Mario Galaxy... how to break this tie to choose their game of the month award? By giving it to a game they only rate 4.75, of course!

Mass Effect wins Game Of The Month in GamePro, despite them complaints from the review about the terrible A.I. problems. And they don't even mention the frequent loading and sparse interactivity that has brought down the enjoyment for me. Not to mention it's seems like "just another" one of Bioware's RPG titles. Sure, it is a great game, with a huge amount of things to do... but in light of other games out there: not GOTM material. Especially since the reviewer of Call Of Duty 4 literally writes, "There is really nothing bad I can say about this game."

Someone explain this to me?

Friday, December 7, 2007

Stacking The Favs

If you've always wondered why media outlets compile their annual lists of "Best Of" before the year actually ends... take a look at the sparse list of new games that we have to fill shelves the next three weeks. In fact, I only found a few of any note.

March Madness 08 for the 360 and PS3... because nothing says Christmas like March.

And for the Wii: a very possible contender for some prizes... Nights: Journey Into Dreams, the long awaited sequel to the Sega Saturn original. The hype hasn't been too big, but hope is high that this game could be mesmerizing. Also coming: Super Swing Golf Season 2. Not a particularly award winning franchise, but I enjoyed the first one with all the stuff you could buy, and decent controls. Oh, and M&M Kart Racing was delayed from last month. That ought to put some sparkle under your tree, right?

So, excluding Nights for now, this is how I see Best Of lists shaping up for each major console (I'm no longer including the PS2 as a major console. I'll put my support behind the PS3 and hope Sony does the same.).

Nintendo DS:
Legend Of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass - an obvious choice.
Picross DS - A well liked game, but is there enough content to win top honors?
Pokemon Diamond/Pearl - These games built well onto the solid Pokemon foundation, but will the media embrace the aging franchise?

Other DS contenders: Brain Age 2, Worms: Open Warfare 2, Puzzle Quest

Sony PSP:
Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters - That was this year, right? It seemed so long ago.
Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness - Just a port of a PS game, but that's what most PSP games are, but this is actually quality gaming.
Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow - PSP shooters aren't my thing, but people seem to approve of this one.

Other DS contenders: Honestly, I stretched to find those three games. The PSP could use some more support.

Nintendo Wii:
Super Mario Galaxy - Very polished and smooth. If only all Wii games we like this.
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - A grand step forward for 1st person shooter controls on the Wii.
Super Paper Mario - Aside from too much text, this game added some nice elements to the franchise.

Other Wii Contenders: Zack & Wiki: Quest For Barbaros' Treasure, Resident Evil 4

PS3:
Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction - Two Ratchet & Clank titles up for honors in one year should be a testament to their quality gameplay.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - Still being so new might give this adventure game the edge.
Heavenly Sword - If it wasn't so short, it'd probably be a shoo-in just for its incredible animation.

Other PS3 Contenders: Folklore, Lair, Ninja Gaiden Sigma

Xbox 360:
Mass Effect - The massive size of this RPG might work against the game, if people are still too immersed in it to vote.
Bioshock - This polished HypeWagon had pretty much everything most people were expecting, except multiplayer.
Halo 3 - The biggest bang for your multiplayer dollar.

Other 360 Contenders: Virtua Fighter 5 Online, Forza Motorsport 2, Eternal Sonata

Multi-platform Games:
The Orange Box - If anything, the fact that there's so much different content may work against the title. It might be split into different genres, but looked upon as an outsider in each of those categories.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare - To me, the graphics don't look much more realistic than Call of Duty 3... but the multiplayer mayhem is undeniable.
Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock - I personally found this one a bit disappointing and unable to hold my interest for long. However, the wireless guitar was well worth the price.
Rock Band - All the wires and the difficulty perfecting the singing and drumming may keep this one out of the top spot, but it has drummed up interest unlike any game since the Wii itself launched.
Assassin's Creed - A contentious pick, it may either be the top of the list, or completely left off. The graphics and animation are the superstar here... half the story could have been left on the cutting room floor.
Madden 08 - An uninspired game, but I'll still be unsurprised to see this on the standard list. When it wins Sports Game of the Year, it's time for everyone else to reevaluate the games they're making.


So those are what games I predict will be appearing on any given critic's website/magazine awards banquet. My personal picks, as I always grade games, are directly tied to the fun factor, so they're a slightly different bunch:
Rock Band - Friends I hadn't seen in month keep showing up wanting to play this game. And I often curse other games that get in the way of my Rock Band time.
MLB Power Pros - Cartoony Graphics and a goofy college story mode are featured in this game, which is the best baseball game I've played in years... if not ever? And find me another game with this many stats analyzing each game. It's just too bad the Miis and motion controlled portion of the game wasn't fully integrated.
Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 - Not a perfect game, but some of the best wackiest minigames ever assembled. If they'd just dump the over-long music portion, this would be even better. Fun to play in a group, and even fun to watch those crazy, crazy rabbids.

I didn't post any downloadable game awards, though I'm sure gaming sites will try to throw out as many awards as possible. Since the Wii Virtual Console is all old games... would they compete with brand new Xbox Live Arcade titles? I dunno. But a few of my favorite titles this year are: Super Mario Bros 3, Metroid, Super Puzzle Fighter Turbo HD Remix, and Bomberman Live.

Here's to next year, when I hope they add Game Boy & Game Gear titles to the virtual console... at three bucks a piece.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Just Talkin' 'Bout the Wii

I saw an interesting screenshot of Super Smash Bros Brawl today. I normally don't care about screenshots of video games. They do nothing to capture the gameplay and often bring down the expected quality of the graphics. Have you ever looked at the gameplay pictures on a video game box? It's shocking that anyone would buy a game after seeing those indecipherable little colored squares.

Anyhoo, this particular image was focused on Bowser, doing whatever powerful attack he does. But it didn't quite look like Bowser. I realized they made him look like a combination of familiar ol' Bowser and of Ganondorf from the previous Smash Bros game. Look at the head... the hair and the face look like Ganondorf. Did I just never notice the resemblance before?

Now, it's just wishful thinking, but I thought that it would be an amazing new aspect to the standard gameplay if they actually allowed character combinations. They've had similar features before: It's basically Kirby's whole shtick. But what if any character could merge with another? Maybe even a level where the goal is to "absorb" all the others into yourself, or conversely, where you have to free the others from an already-formed combo-monster? (That would allow different story paths, depending on playing a good or evil character.) Perhaps even an odd two-player aspect where the merged characters fight for control of the body, or have to cooperate to fight?

It may sound a little weird, but it's just an idea to add to the formula. I worry about how many new characters and items they can add to the same foundation before the series just collapses on itself. They need to put out some new gameplay legs to support itself. We'll see if they've added anything really new when the game comes out next month. Oh, and online play doesn't count. I said something new.

While I was at IGN's Wii site vainly looking for that screenshot (I gave up 3 pages into the 60-plus pages of dull images... quality, not quantity,please!), I noticed the story of a third-party developer coming out with a wireless nunchuck controller. Finally! I've dislike how half-assed consoles are about implementing wireless operation. Nintendo is the worst offender since it has so far required that annoying floppy cord. There are wired peripherals for the 360 and the PS3, but they're optional or from third-party developers. While I'm at it: the long, thin cord for the Wii's sensor bar is annoying too!

To sum up... Future: Yay. Now: Meh.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Tweak It Til It Hurts!

Xbox put out a new dashboard update today. So far, all it's done is make my life more difficult.

It only took a minute to download, but after the system restarted, I got to stare at the "Xbox thinking" icon for at least six minutes. The icon prevented me from viewing anything on the Marketplace, Xbox Live or Games dashboard blades. I could still access features in the music and system settings. It's been quite a while since I intentionally cycled over that far.

After waiting around the aforementioned six minutes, I wandered off to do some laundry. So I'm not sure how long the update really took to resolve itself. But things eventually came back to a state of workingness.

So now you can view the friends list of your friends, to help bring out the stalker in those too lazy to stake out real homes. Or you can opt to block the list from public access. If most people turn on the list blocking, will Microsoft do away with the feature?

And at first I thought they did away with the demos I had downloaded, as the selection was no longer on the Games blade. But actually they just mixed the demos in with the Arcade games I have on my system, make them bothersome to find. I went ahead and deleted all the demos I had because I have enough games to scroll through already.

That's all I've expressly noticed so far. I hope some people are enjoying these lifestyle upgrades!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mediocre Effect

I am not blown away by Mass Effect.

I'm only a couple hours into it, and it feels to me exactly like Knights of the Old Republic. In fact, the stage I'm on, the Citadel, is pretty much an exact copy of the port you arrive art early on in KOTOR. I've spent over an hour running errands for people and walking into the occasional ambush and intimidating people for fun. Same ol, same ol.

Not to say it's not fun or intriguing. There is more dialogue in these Bioware games than in some novels. And it is all voiced, which is especially nice. But even though you have lots of choices to make, it still feels way too scripted.

And I especially do not like the fact that you have six characters that can eventually join your crew, but only two of them will actually be there at a time. A common annoyance in pretty much all RPGs. I want a large posse! What's the point of having these people if they're not there to back you up at all times? And it would be nice to at least have more of a variety of crewmates to choose from. The first time you pick your squad members, you will see the silhouettes of everyone you can eventually have... sorta ruins the surprise. I want to be able to recruit some drunk in the bar, or at least the table dancer he's with. (Where's that game? The recruit-anybody game where it's more about surrounding yourself with human shields and live-wire testers.)

I gave Bioshock a four-out-of-four star rating, even though I lamented on how it failed to progress the genre or do anything really new. It just did the same old stuff well. At this point in Mass Effect, I'm leaning towards a 3 star rating, because as good as the storytelling and the character detail is... there are many problem issues. Excruciatingly long elevator rides and long empty hallways... and still there are game freezes to load some areas. There are occasionally some annoying jitters and popups in the graphics. And the combat isn't very smooth (Speaking of which, my character is a military commander and a war hero who single-handedly held off an invading squadron... yet she only starts with one pistol stat point?).

Another weird point with the game: I received an Achievement for completing Eden Prime (first level) when I killed the final enemy on the stage... however, I had not found & deactivated one of the bombs, which was the actual objective, so twenty seconds later I failed the stage and had to do it over. I unfortunately did not receive a duplicate achievement.

Rockin' Band

I haven't blogged lately because I've been quite busy... but that hasn't stopped me from playing games so that I would have stuff to blog about. I actually logged on yesterday to write a bit about Rock Band, only to discover my friend had already done so.

But I paid 170 bucks for the thing, so I'm going to add to it!

Okay, actually I traded in $110 worth of old games and used a ten percent off coupon towards the purchase... but I still paid a whole day's salary for the game.

One thing my fellow Rocker-in-arms didn't mention was the star gauge, that allows you to see how close you are to achieving the 5-star rating as you are playing the song. Or, more likely, lets you see how close you WERE to achieving it, because you were too busy staring at the notes flying at you to look away during the song. It's a nice touch, and not too distracting like the streak counter in Guitar Hero 3 that would bounce on and off the screen. But does it make up for the fact that they do not break down the stats to see where you need work? Probably not.

The guitar that comes in the Rock Band bundle is quite different. It's harder to feel your position on the frets than with the Guitar Hero controllers. They added the smaller "solo" fret buttons at the base of the neck, which work like normal buttons except during the designated guitar solos... at which time they work without strumming, which means you'll have to adjust your entire timing and press the button at the correct time rather than having it ready in advance.

The guitar also has a switcher for effects during Overdrive. But they seem mixed too low, so you can't really hear them over the rest of your band.

The GH notes have been altered from the familiar circles to small rectangles. Not a big deal, except with the hammer-ons and pull-offs... which are now just slightly smaller rectangles. They are not nearly distinct enough, unless they're right next to a normal sized note.

My biggest, and perhaps only true disappointment with the game (aside from some of the song choices... they found the one Aerosmith song I've never heard of. Gee, thanks. I'd would have much rather tried to skat my way through the ending of Rag Doll, personally.) is the drum kit configuration. It is set up like a standard electronic drum kit, with the four pads in an arch. I would like to have it in a more realistic drum set configuration, with the snare lowered & centered in front of you, and allowing you to cross your arms when playing the high hat. Perhaps have the crash cymbal pad elevated so you can really reach up and strike it with some enthusiasm. If they're going to make you actually drum in the game, they should have let you feel more like a real drummer instead of like some weenie technodrummer.

Overall, it is truly a fun game. Perhaps not as revolutionary as one might hope, but a great start. It's too bad World Tour isn't kind to newcomers (especially since everybody is pretty much a newcomer at drumming) by only offering a few locations for those playing on easy. Someday my Roman band will invade America!

***
A couple extra notes:

The guitar seems easier than on Guitar Hero. Is that intentional? I know I have more practice now, so stuff would seem easier... but compare the same songs: Chereb Rock in GH3 and Rock Band. Definitely easier in Rock Band. I still have nightmares about the alternating 3-note chords from GH3.

It is awesome to hear the crowd singing along when you're doing well. And sometimes you'll see the guitarist mouthing the words as well. Gives the game excellent atmosphere!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Customer Service, Part Two

In all fairness, I just want to mention the follow-up to the post I made about my crappy experience with Toys R Us last week.

I emailed their customer service with my grievances, and they replied:

I am sorry that you were not able to purchase this game. I also apologize for the poor customer service that you received.
There was a shipping problem and the stores did not receive the inventory they expected. This resulted in only pre-orders being filled.

If I had gotten this told to me when I was at the store, I would not have had any issues with their service (aside from the lady who I spoke to on the phone. Why did she know that the game was "out", but not "out only for pre-orders?"). Perhaps post a sign stating that they were not shipped the expected quantities? Perhaps not put up the entire endcap with the huge topper stating the amazing deal that you aren't able to get?

Instead, just hope apologizing well after the fact will restore customer satisfaction. Good luck, TRU.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Hidden Blade o' Fun

I'm a couple missions into Assassin's Creed, and am enjoying it quite a bit. The visuals are quite nice... the cities looks great... and the developers know it, and make sure you know it by making a grand camera swoop every time you perch yourself on a lookout point.

Animations are some of the best I've seen (although most faces are seen more at a distance, so that may be compensating for some work), and the sound is mixed quite well.

The only major annoyance I've come across so far: the camera cuts to a preset angle for a few seconds after you complete a minor task, such as win a battle or save a citizen. Normally, this is acceptable... until you assassinate a "boss" and every guard in the city is now after you. You defeat one batch of them and then the camera goes into this congratulations mode and you run straight into the sword of a goon you didn't even know was there.

But otherwise, there's a lot of fun to be had. Pouncing towards a stunned victim for an extreme diving stab to the neck. Freaking out citizens with my penchant for wall-climbing ("Could someone explain why he's doing that?" "Is that necessary?" "What is wrong with that man?" are some of the phrases I've heard tossed about.). Running from rooftop to rooftop like a princess ballerina.

I'm not really big on stealth games, but this is definitely more action than stealth. You can often forgo stealth completely for a lot of the missions. They didn't give you a sword for nothing.

My favorite incident so far... after dispatching four or five grunts who were harassing a civilian, more guards come by... usually one at a time... see the pile of bodies, and demand to know who did this. I kept walking up behind them and casually adding them to the body count. It was up to 12 before I decided to go ahead and move on. Ah, good times.

Oh, yeah, this game probably isn't for the kiddies.

I'm also playing another violent bloodfest: Jericho. This one so far has been pretty standard, despite all the magic stuff, and the demons, blah blah blah.

I'm still pretty early on in it... just now finally beginning to be able to take control of more than just one character. If you play this game, do yourself a favor and don't bother reading the instructions. The instructions do tell you what powers each character has and how to use them... which is great if you forget. But the game very slowly walks you through all your abilities... including how to you the left stick to walk around... and, oh golly, the right trigger is your primary weapons fire!

Like I said, it's been pretty standard so far. But it took me a while to complete the first stage, because there is one part where you have to hold off wave after wave of enemies... most of which explode when they die, so they'll often take you out with them. And your buddies don't know not to shoot them when you're standing too close. I had to redo that part about five times. And then I couldn't find the exit to that room, despite it being an open area about the size of a studio apartment.

And isn't there some law or such that should have prevented this game from being called Jericho, because of that short-lived TV show that just ended? I guess technically it's titled "Clive Barker's Jericho" but wouldn't that be like me naming a game "Meager's Young and the Restless?" I'm sure some people would fall for it.


I'll be playing these single-player games for a couple more days, before diving headlong into Mass Effect. And I'm going to try to round up my friends for a multiplayer extravaganza this week... Rock Band, Guitar Hero 3, Raving Rabbids 2, Scene It, Mario & Sonic Olympics. Eyes will be bloody at the end of that night. Oh yes.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Puny Human Writers

So issue five of World War Hulk finally came out. I was underwhelmed, as I have been the entire limited series. But at least I wasn't as disappointed with it as I was with Civil War (Seven issues of nothing, just to lead into revamping of a bunch of other titles). And at least it wasn't as long.

Stuff actually happened. New York is in ruins. Heroes are dead... or at least it looks that way. No one ever actually said, "He's dead, Jim" so I guess they could just be sleeping.

I have a couple major problems with the series. The first is the timeline. When is this happening? I picked up the last issue of Illuminati a week or two ago, and it revealed a hero that is featured in WWH as a skrull. And this week's New Avengers featured an attack on New York... which didn't seem very damaged. Isn't there somebody at Marvel with a big corkboard posting lists of what collateral damage needs to be shown from month to month?

The other major problem I had with World War Hulk was the art. I used to like John Romita Jr. as an artist, back when he did Daredevil, and, to a lesser extent, his run on Uncanny X-Men in the 80s. Now that he's made a name for himself, his art looks lazy, rushed and sketchy. Many characters are indistinguishable, and faces are flat and featureless. I understand he's known for his speed, not his quality. Why was the last issue delayed so long?

Delays have been a major embarrassment for Marvel as a company. They have lot a lot of credibility as a professional operation. I'd have to lay the blame for this at their boss, Joe Quesada. Apparently he doesn't care about maintaining consumer confidence. One of many problems I have with his management. Can we please have an actual editor become editor in chief at Marvel again?

Rabbid Mayhem!

I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up a copy of Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 (A day early, I think, according to the ads I've seen... Wal-Mart's not the best at reading street dates.) and got it for less than 30 bucks because it was placed in the first game's slot, thus it was mispriced.

I've only had time to play the first level (six minigames), but it's a whole lot of fun. Mostly because multiplayer is immediately playable, unlike the first game when you had to unlock everything. This game has obviously been designed to bring multiplayer to the forefront.

I played with my girlfriend, and she giggled her way through a couple of the stages. She's not into many games, so I think that is a good sign.

There wasn't any story to tie the stages together. The instruction book mentions Rayman trying to stop the Rabbid's evil crazy plans... but I didn't notice any storytelling going on. Perhaps there is some if you play single player? I'll check that out later, I suppose.

Most game had four bunnies on screen at the same time, playing football, showing their dance moves, and singing "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" Rock Band style.

***
Side Note:
Wal-Mart did have displays for the 3 NextGen consoles in the Christmas Department... The Wii was set up to play Super Mario Galaxy; The Xbox 360 was playing Scene It (bizarrely, it was a widescreen tv, and the game was in widescreen display, but obviously not adapted to the set. So there were big black bars on the screen and the picture was scrunched so small that the words were illegible. Don't they check things like that?); And the PS3 was set up for Rock Band, with drums and new guitar. But the PS3 was not turned on. Go figure.
***

While just two of us played, the computer-controlled characters fought along, but were not given their own score. Apparently, we didn't have to do anything to beat the stages. We unlocked costumes, such as the bunny dressed as the guy from Assassin's Creed, but whether it was performance-based or just for participating... who knows? But there are lots of outfits to unlock. I look forward to it!

I liked watching the bunny performing the Singing In The Rain routine.

Oh, and if you don't get first place by the end of all six stages, you get abused by a truck.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Poor Service and Strange Gameplay

Super Mario Galaxy was released yesterday, and since Toys R Us was offering a free $25 gift card with it, I decided that would be the ideal place to make the purchase.

The ad stated the game would be out by 5pm... apparently they meant to say it would be completely sold out by 5pm. There is only one TRU left in town, and it is over 15 miles away, so I called at 3pm to make sure they had the game before I spent a half hour driving out there. The lady that I spoke with confirmed that they put the game out, but when I asked if there were any copies left, she said "I don't know. I'm not in electronics." and promptly hung up.

That should have clued me in that I would not have a good experience with the store that day, but instead I hopped in my truck and drove across town to claim Nintendo's latest offering. I arrived to an endcap with a large header announcing the great deal on the game... and three empty shelves.

Surely they had more, right? With such a enticing deal, (even stating that it is limited to one per customer) they would surely ordered more than enough to meet expected demand... at least enough to get to their advertised deadline, right?

The other clerks standing around the game department were busy chatting with each other, so I approached the cashier, and waited for her to complete the transaction she was involved in. Before she finished ringing up that customer, she turned to me and asked "Do you need something?"

"Super Mario," I replied. And it was a good thing I meant the Galaxy game, because she didn't bother to get further specifications.

"Do you have a reservation?"

"No."

"Then we're sold out."

...

That was the tersest example of customer service I have been a part of. Generally, a slightly apologetic tone would be enough tide a customer's disappointment. "Sorry, we're all out. Could I interest you in a different game?" Nope, nope, none of that.

The stinger of that exchange was that they kept the reserved games in the glass case with all the other games directly in view of the public. Oh, we're not sold out, you just can't have any of these. Perhaps if I begged, I would have been allowed to sniff one.

I quickly left before I was asked if I wanted to buy unneeded batteries.

So, 30 miles, six bucks worth of gas, and an hour of my time later, I stopped by the Best Buy near my house to pick up the game. They had plenty.


The game is quite fun. I had a friend with me using the second remote to gather star dust and hold down enemies.. which sorta feels like cheating, but it's quite nice to have another player involved in a unique way without having to sacrifice screen area.

The gameplay is really smooth, and there are a few difficult stages early on, which was surprising. But the thing that stands out to me most is how incredibly weird every single new element is.

Is there really only two categories for game development these days: weird and violent? A lot of the game design reminded me more of the Katamari series rather than Super Mario's 8bit history.

Although, I did have some nostalgic glee with the inclusion of classic music scores and old levels being used as backgrounds.

But I wish Nintendo put more effort into the storytelling, at least try to explain some of the weirdness. At least have Mario acknowledge that this stuff is bizarre.

Like the entire Bee Mario aspect... They teach you how to use the (very limited) power of the bee mushroom, but they don't explain why there is a mushroom that turns you into bee. Yes, I know the mushroom power-up is a staple of the series (at least the 2-d versions), but why so many different mushrooms this time around? Why not a honeycomb? After all, it was a leaf that turned you Raccoon Mario. Is there a space-based pharmaceutical company mass producing all these mushroom varieties? Or are the designers just being lazy?

Also on high on the oddball scale: everything involving something star shaped. I can only describe Mario's celebration after scoring a Grand Star as zero-g frolicking. And those little star throw-pillow things really need to ask my permission before jumping into me.

Oh, and I'm not an astronomer, but it seems to me that what the call a "galaxy" is just a cluster of celestial chunks. Now, each level has a number of these "galaxy" stages, which are show orbiting a common spot, so I would call the level as a whole a "galaxy." Either way, there are a lot of galaxies in this game, so why isn't it called "Super Mario Galaxies?" Does George Lucas own the rights to the pluralized word? I suppose that is quite plausible.

I'm going to play some more. Surely they've used up all the weird in the beginning.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Sincerest Form of Skimming Ideas

As it may seem like I only read magazines that I don't really like... well, they pass the time anyway.

I have a subscription to GamePro magazine. I had heard they had coupons for Best Buy, so I found a good deal and subscribed. I thought I saw a coupon in the first issue, but when it came time to use it, I could not find it again. And there has not been any since.

I've not liked GamePro too much from the get-go. They fill space with giant pictures, random blurbs and other odds and ends, and yet they are light on the page count.

Until recently, all the writers performed under gamertag pen-names. They now go by real names, but as far as anyone knows they could be pseudonyms as well... They hid behind anonymity so long, the trust of honesty is gone.

That last point may seem a bit hypocritical for someone calling himself "meager"... but I am internet exclusive. Using your real name online gives off a sense of egotism, as if people should know you because you put your name in the headline at the top of your page. Using a pseudonym usually (and in my case) is just there to help tie together work from different sites and forums.

My biggest criticism with GamePro: It's not better than Game Informer, which I get free with my Gamestop discount card.

Anyhoo, the point I want to make has nothing to do with GamePro directly. It just happens to be an article in the December issue of said magazine.

Page 34: The Best Game You Never Heard Of: Prototype. Prototype is an upcoming game about a transforming killing machine. The article says "Mercer can morph his body into a weapon, such as massive claws..." and "With every life he takes, Mercer consumes their abilities, even physical appearance, becoming more powerful with each intellectual being he devours."

Readers of the superb long-time webcomic Sluggy Freelance may recognize this description as fitting a character known as Dr Crabtree... except the gender. A similar creation is not unheard of, but combined with the design of Heavenly Sword's main protagonist closely mirroring another Sluggy character, Oasis... it seems as if video game companies are fishing through creator Pete Abrams' archives.

Not a pleasant possibility. But perhaps it could lead to some game company actually approaching Pete directly to infuse some of his great ideas into a decent video game. Here's hoping.

Multiplayer Wahoo

I picked up a couple new games wednesday afternoon.

Call of Duty 4 was not one of them. It's been Shooter overload lately, so I'm in no rush for another one.

I got Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games and Scene It Lights Camera Action.

Both are great fun, especially in group of friends.

I had never played a Scene It game... I can't imagine this new Xbox 360 version is much different than the others, except it should keep track of the questions you've already seen, so it'll be long before you see repeats.

Mario & Sonic Olympics has its definite pros and cons.

It's great to finally see a full game with Miis being implemented... although you could argue that this is just a bunch of minigames. I consider Olympic-based video games as part of the sports genre, not necessarily the minigame collection genre. Unfortunately, they again ignore the size you have built your Miis, and adjust them to the same generic height. I'd rather see them the way I designed them. Why else did they give size options to begin with? And letting them have a voice would be good too. And is there a way to alter the not-so-flattering track suit they're given? Mario & crew don't have to wear it, why should the Miis?

I've had some issues with the controls. So far, I've only gotten the parry move to work about 25% of the time during my fencing matches. I don't see why the A button can't activate that move on its own, instead you have to press A and swing the wiimote upwards. There are also a few odd control schemes for some of the other events. But at least the drumming motion used for running isn't as tiring as button mashing on other Track & Field games.

I also noticed that there seems to be a lot of loading time for a Mario game.

The only other problem I have with the game is you have to play single player through the circuit mode to unlock all the events. Which is quite disappointing; since the circuits are set up like Mario Kart, why can't you play two player to unlock everything? You're often competing against 7 other characters, why can't one of them be player controlled? I wanted to play with my friends on equal footing, but it looks as though I'll have to give myself the advantage of practice to unlock more events before our next gaming session.

On the positive side... I had loads of fun. I love track & field games. And I actually set a world record: 9.6-something seconds on the 100m dash. My profile name is Meager... though I sure that record will be shattered quickly once more people pick up this game. I'm not sure if you can check the leaderboards anywhere outside the game, so my fame will be underwhelming.

I look forward to comparing this to more realistic Olympic games that I'm sure will follow before summer. I'm sure this will hold up quite well. I'll probably still be playing it, cursing whatever records I can't beat.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Sharing My Personal Bubble With Bigass Corporations

It's not very comforting to know that I'm paying fifty bucks a year to share my gaming information with who knows who.

I rented "skate." a few weeks ago, played it a bit... never really got into it because of its unusual controls and lack of automatic motion.

I finally logged into my hotmail account which is tied to my Xbox Live Gamertag... which I otherwise don't use. Usually I'm just there to clean out the inbox ever month or so.

There among the Microsoft newsletters and viagra spam was an email from EA, thanking me for registering my copy of skate with them.

Um, yeah. You're welcome.

EA will probably take this as an agreement for them to set up a facility on my lawn.

However, they did send a game tip:
To execute a Coffin, hold both grab buttons and the brake button at the same time.

I didn't even know there was a brake button. I never went fast enough to use it.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Early Morning Pontificating

Let me clarify something...

While I am eagerly anticipating Rock Band, I am doing so with an extremely cautious nature. I genuinely don't expect this to be anything more than a four-player Guitar Hero.

This caution comes from wisdom provided by of years of video game playing. Nowadays when I hear a game concept announced, the "coolness factor" is always surmounted by a sense of where it can all go so very wrong.

My trepidation towards Rock Band is only increased with each article and breaking news hype surrounding the game, because all of those press releases only focus on the track list.

I don't believe the track list can ever satisfy everyone. (Why is there no Huey Lewis, hmmmm?) Even if they put a song of every genre from every era, they'd still be too much of the "other" songs for people to groan about.

And what's the point of having so many master tracks if you're going to sing the vocals yourself?

Speaking of which, the only other singing/karaoke game I've played is Boogie, which you can hum along with and still score well. Will Rock Band be the same? And how close to the original do you need to perform? Isn't the point of being in a band and playing the song live is to vary your performance each time? Liven it up a bit? Jam? Obnoxiously throw in the name of the city you're performing in? Get the crowd to sing the words for you?

There are new features for Rock Band, of course, like making your own characters and designing your band logo... but again comes the caution when you look at Harmonix's leap between Guitar Hero and Guitar Hero 2 was adding more stats and an additional multiplayer mode. Will the tremendous jump to Rock Band be too ambitious and these new features end up as watered down versions of what they should be?

And one of my biggest concerns of all... where will I keep all this stuff? Will the Missus allow the drumset to clutter the living room between practices? How easily will the drum kit collapse for storage, and how many times can you do so before something snaps off and you'll be shelling out a hundred bucks for a replacement set?

Side note:
I went to Gamestop and asked about when they'd be getting separate wireless guitar controllers for the 360. Their book has them scheduled for February... for 80 bucks apiece. So, if you can find one, the Guitar Hero 3 bundle will run you $100, and Gamestop's current trade-in value for the game itself is $30...

My Rock Band concerns will not keep me from buying the game, of course. I have to get it to see if they manage to pull it off. We'll find out in two weeks.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

And In November We Have...

There's quite a list of games coming out this month. Surprisingly, there may be enough Wii games I'm interested in to double my current collection. Here's some of the games coming out, that carry varied levels of hype for me.

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
I enjoyed the last couple of games in the series. I'm glad to see them depart WWII after beating that dead horse with various quasi-sequels. But will they bring a new perspective to modern times that I can't get from games like Battlefield 2? I'll probably rent this one and wait for a price drop (or gold edition) before buying it.

Scene It
I just want those giant button controllers! It's a huge button! Push it! PUSH IT!!!

LEGO Star Wars Complete Saga
There hasn't been much talk of this title. Did they add anything to the games or just combine them into one? Is it even just one game, or two discs in a box? I don't know. I would hope they went back and made the original's racing segments better. But probably not. I'll be letting this one slip by.

Dance Dance Revolution Universe 2
I can't get any of my friends to play the first one with me. Will this new one inspire less laziness? Likely not. I'm guessing it'll be identical.

Need For Speed ProStreet
A new Need For Speed continues to be cranked out year after year. The only one I played was Most Wanted, and quickly grew bored of the series. Way too many other racers out there for me to even bother with this one right now.

Rock Band
I am quite eager to get my hands on this one. I'll probably be disappointed in the lack of story, but will most likely enjoy hosting Rock Band parties for my friends. It's just too bad there's no Blind Melon in the lineup.

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
A high-profile Olympics game? Try and keep me away. Especially with the inclusion of Miis? Goodbye free time. But hey, why aren't any of the licensed characters wearing track and field uniforms? Surely they didn't just slap existing character models into the game, did they? And kind of odd timing for summer Olympics, isn't it?

Catz 2, Dogz 2 & Horsez 2
Um, yeah. I'll be skipping these. But that doesn't mean everybody should miss these Petz simulators for the Wii!

Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles
It's weird to say, but the quality of this zombie game really depends on the storytelling. With RE4 already on the Wii, this new game needs to deliver something special to stand out.

WWE Smackdown Vs Raw 2008
Do wrestling games need annual releases? Other than taking Chris Benoit out of the lineup (I presume), is there much they could have changed that they couldn't have provided via downloadable content? If there's any game that needs annual releases, it's Mario Kart (at least new tracks each year) but that never happens.

Super Mario Galaxy
This game has a weird sense of hype to it. There's only vague marketing for it, which worries me. With the delay of Smash Bros Brawl, did they decide they HAD to get this game out even if they weren't done yet? It just seems to have a foreboding sense about it. I hope it's good.

Soul Calibur Legends
After Soul Calibur 3 being PS2 exclusive, I'm glad to see Nintendo regaining a piece of the franchise with this new exclusive title. I'm not sure how it can possibly go wrong... except with the responsiveness of the controls. Hopefully, the game will provide multiple controller configurations. But I'll be renting it first to make sure.

M&M Kart Racing
Is this a real game? It looks like it should be free with 2 proof of purchases. $30?? Wha???

Time Crisis 4
I've not played any of the Time Crisis games, although I've had some interest in trying them out. Perhaps this latest edition will pull me in? But are light gun games still relevant in the age of the Wii?

Mario Party DS
I like Mario Party games, although they aren't very fulfilling. Perhaps the experience will seem larger on the smaller screen? I'm willing to give it a try.

Puzzle De Harvest Moon
A Harvest Moon game, where multiple players compete to grow crops on the same grid. Just like the other Harvest Moon games, it sound much more dull than it hopefully is.

Rayman Raving Rabbids 2
This is the kind of Wii action I like! The multiplayer looks greatly improved over the first game, and should be the star attraction. If the controls are tight, this could be the best multiplayer game on the system.

Mass Effect
I like RPGs a lot, but my schedule does not. I'll sit and play for hours, exploring and trying out every little thing, hardly ever progressing through the game. I have several games I put 40+ hours into and never finished because something new caught my attention. I foresee it happening again.

Assassin's Creed
I was never big on this game. There's been footage of it for about two years now. It's got realistic looking people... at least in extreme slow-motion. And two years ago, that was impressive. But this is definitely a rental first, until the gameplay can be determined. Oh, and that E3 trailer showing the slo-mo leaps from rooftop to rooftop: I thought I was watching a remake of Wizards and Warriors 3. (I really liked that game, by the way. Where's that on the Virtual Console?)


Well, that's pretty much it for November. But isn't that enough? How am I supposed to have money left to buy gifts for other people next month?

And when does the Next Gen Timesplitters happen?!?!?

Because I need something to read in the loo

For whatever reason, I picked up the latest issue of Wizard Magazine, a.k.a. The Red-Headed Hype-Child Magazine. (Speaking of which, did Wizard start their own conventions just because they got their credentials laughed off at the others? But I digress.)

If you never read Wizard Magazine, it's basically a fluffy 'zine about the comic book industry. Hard-bitten journalism? No. They're pretty much the worst offenders for the "Hype Now, Snark Later" brand of media. (Oh, and they like to transcribe artists having interviews with other artists rather than having to get a reporter to do actual work.) 75% of the articles in Wizard are previews up upcoming events, and there is nary a word of caution to be found in any of them. But zip to the Trade Paperback reviews, and you'll see soggy scores for those storylines hyped so heavily only months before.

This month's issue has eight pages devoted to the 15th anniversary of the Death of Superman storyline. It's a transcription (because, of course, having an actual interviewer write this into a true article might drain their convention budget.) of DC creators talking about the stages of the event. One of the writers complains that people have blamed them for the collapse of the comic book industry, and he says that's unfair. But the creators seemed to marvel at their own genius of reducing the panels-per-page as the story progresses until the final issue is completely (and horribly) one panel on each page. Let's see... the worst story (or lack there of) ever written from a one-note concept, drawn out over as many issues as possible, and sealed in a special little baggie to dupe all the wannabe collectors... yup, those guys are absolutely to blame for the downfall of the industry.

Pages of writers whining that they don't get enough recognition for their work... obviously not, because they weren't immediately fired. Why is Wizard magazine giving so much space to glorify this event? And yet it could have been worse. Right?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

GH3 quickie

I just played a couple hours of Guitar Hero 3, making it through the co-op medium career on the PS2. A couple notes:

I'm quite disappointed in the removal of the over-the-top Star Power animations. The characters I used seemed to barely acknowledge the star power activation.

I also expected the Japanese Pop Star to be more animated.

I thought you had to string together 30 notes to be a x4 streak, but I notice when the counter pops up (after x4 activates) it often starts at 27.
(edit: apparently it pops up at 25, before you hit x4... it was just going so fast in co-op it seemed to start at 27. Either way, it's an unnecessary distraction.)

Is it only my PS2 that takes FOREVER to save? If not, turn off autosave!!!

And my friends have confirmed what I noticed in the demo: the lead singer's face is the scariest thing in video game history.

More later. I'll probably pick up the game for the 360.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Skating Backwards

I spent the past couple days with the new Tony Hawk game... not very impressed. And I really liked the previous one, Project 8.

The one unforgivable oversight to this new game: no female skaters. I've had basically the same green haired female skater since Tony Hawk 4, and now she's M.I.A. This brings the chances of getting my girlfriend to play the game with me down to zero.

(Okay, the dreaded awful story mode in American Wasteland didn't allow for women skaters either, but that game had a totally separate Classic Mode which did. Ironically, I loved the Classic Mode on that game, which had been my least favorite aspect before. But that game had full co-op Classic Mode, and was terrific fun. So, of course, they didn't put that in any other game.)

This game doesn't add much of anything. It continues expanding on the "Nail" modes, which just slows the whole game down. I play Tony Hawk to do quick tricks and go sailing along at breakneck speed (and crashing horribly into concrete). If they want to breathe new life into the game, they need to focus on the atmosphere. Mainly graphics. Since Project 8, the cities and bodies look nice, but faces look horrifying. What disease is Tony Hawk dying of in this game? His sickly face tells all.

Let's see some beautiful weather effects. More dramatic lighting... make day & night times that really make a difference. Let's see some interactive debris that actually hangs around... right now you're always smashing through fences and walls, which magically disappear.

How about storyline choices that actually affect the gameplay? Remembering back to the "Underground" games... they'd give you a choice of what team to sign up with, but you'd still end up on the same team as Bam, and you're still going to Russia. Where's the replay value? Why not build a team that will get you different places? Then you can play again and try something new. And maybe the second time through, you have to face off against the final boss... the skater you created and took to the top last time through! It'd be a better option than just not playing for 11 months while waiting for the next game to come out.

I did play the other skateboarding game, "skate." Wasn't thrilled with that, either. My big complaint there was there is no continuous forward motion, like in Tony Hawk. You have to manually activate every kick start in the game, which can cause getting up a tiny curb a big annoyance if you start too close. This is a video game, give me some automation, please.

Oh, and it was too hard to break my pelvis.

As aggravating as skate was, I do want to go back and play some more. Just to see if I'd enjoy it after a while.

But, back to Tony Hawk's Proving Ground...

I've actually played the Guitar Hero III demo on the disc more than I played the Tony Hawk game. Am I the only one that is freaked out by the huge mouth on the lead singer?

There's really nothing much else to say about the new Tony Hawk game. You know what you're getting. Unless you're expecting to play your long-time female skater.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Logic for Xbox

I finally got around to listening to CAGCast #94 from cheapassgamer.com. I'm only a week behind. Not too shabby.

Anyhoo, Cheapy & Wombat interviewed Xbox's Major Nelson, and brought up a couple items I was wondering when I'd hear someone talk about.

First up was the price of Microsoft Points. Although the conversation focused on using points rather than just straight monetary purchases on Xbox Live, I've always wondered why Microsoft is the console with the points not equaling American currency.

Nintendo: 100 Wii Points = 100 cents
Microsoft: 80 Microsoft Points = 100 cents

While a price difference isn't odd in itself, it always puzzled me because Microsoft is the American company. They're the ones that should be in sync with the dollar. Nintendo is Japanese. It just adds fuel to any argument about Microsoft's bizarre lack of logic in all their decisions.

The other issue brought before the Major... caps on the friends' list. A person can only have 100 people on their list. Major Nelson's argument was that the average user only has about 25 people on that list anyway. More flawed logic.

This average would be brought down by people with only a couple people on their list, but it would not take into account those who have maxed out already. Their input into the mean would be only 100, even though they might have 1000 if they were allowed that many. Shouldn't the average need to factor in the projected totals? Perhaps remove the cap from the list for a few months, then see where the average lies.

The most common suggestion for a solution has been to let people purchase more space on their friends' list. Most people probably won't be so quick to approve a new friend if it's gonna cost them money, so that's probably not the best way to expand the sense of community. Do people want to pay another buck a year just because they found somebody who is actually willing to play Big Bumpin' with them?

My solution is different. They should offer users the ability to make Xbox Live Clans. Surely this has been thought of before, right? People join a clan, for instance, made up of people who frequent an online gaming forum... then they add that Clan name as a friend, taking up a single space on their friends' list. Online Clan members would be listed in a new submenu. A simple patch could incorporate these Xbox Clans into multiplayer games for ease of use.

Now, the hosting for the Clan lists would probably be fee based. Websites or Sports Teams would probably pay to get their own clans started, to show off how many fans they have. Perhaps Xbox would offer smaller clan packages for less. It's a very doable feature.

And that's all I have.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Spider-man: Friend or Bore

I played through Spider-Man: Friend or Foe this weekend to review it for an upcoming episode of my comic. Not one of Activision's strongest outings, to be sure.

It's a very short game. You can probably whiz through it in 2 to 3 hours. If you go for 100% completion (as I did), it's closer to 7 to 8 hours. Of course, 100% upgrading all the characters just means replaying same thing over and over.

***
Game Tip:
To get most "tech tokens" to upgrade your characters, just replay the final level. You will only have three battles, and the boss fight. About ten minutes of play to net you over 3000 tokens for taking out the final boss. As opposed to longer stages which get you closer to 1000, if you spend the time to really max out your combo meter and break every single box on the level.
***

It's a shame that games like this are still being made. It doesn't really appear to have been created as a Spider-Man game. The characters are pretty much just plugged into it. (With terrible voices for the most part.) Webslinging never comes in to play. You can't crawl up walls. There is no spider-sense, apart from him saying, "You better believe my spider-sense is tingling." The game seems to just have been hacked out, and then as an after-thought they added the Spider-Man license to actually sell a few copies. That's nothing new, of course.

But after games like Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and Spider-Man's other self-titled games, there should be no going back to the generic anyhero template for our favorite arachnid protagonist. It's just not right!

There are a number of Marvel comic characters appearing as playable characters... most of which I'd like to see utilized in a better game. Everyone of them has a couple of their own special moves, but nothing dazzling. You'll be sticking with Spidey, as he has a bunch more upgrades to his arsenal.

Okay, actually, not everyone has their own unique move sets... The Green Goblin and the New Green Goblin are both in the game... and they have identical moves. But you'll have to boost their stats individually to get that 100%. But their goblin gliders aren't playable. No one gets to fly. They're not quite so cool when they're running around on the ground with all the little people, are they? Okay, actually, it's more like "bouncing" rather than running. Weird animation choice. Of, and none of that fancy use of the analog stick... you're either moving full speed or standing still.

Oh, and there's no block button.

I am also not a fan of the character design in this game, either. Most of the cut-scenes make everyone look like blocky, clay beef hotdogs that were not designed with facial animations in mind.

And did the makers of this game forget they put the New Green Goblin in the opening sequence? He is seen being kidnapped alongside a bunch of villains, but he's never seen in the story again. You'll unlock him as a playable character unceremoniously after beating the game.

Speaking of the story (sigh), it was a cringe-worthy moment when it was hinted as to who was the main villain. I kept hoping they seriously weren't going there. But they did. And they didn't explain how he got the know-how to make himself evil minions. I think they must have wrote in Doctor Doom, then were told they weren't allowed him, so they said, "Hmm, who else is in Spidey's Rogue Gallery? Eenie Meenie Miney..."

And while you can play local-only co-op throughout the game, I must ask why is there always only two characters charging in to take on the world-threatening evil. If you have a dozen soldiers waiting to go into battle, wouldn't you send in a strike force larger than two? And Spidey is always one of the two. Doesn't he want a break? That was the one big flaw I had with Marvel: Ultimate Alliance as well. 20 characters, but only four at a time. And I blame the script writers on that one. They could write a plot that necessitated splitting the forces up to take on simultaneous missions in different locations, then let the gamer decide who to send where before letting them play through each one.

Anyway, to sum up this very long rant with the most offensive problem with Spider-Man: Friend or Foe... it's boring. Only five locations. And you're basically just fighting the same four baddies over and over and over. Next-Gen indeed. (Sigh)

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Captain Glock America

And so, the new Captain America will carry a gun.

This is not the same Captain America who has been around since the 40s. He was killed off a few months ago, of course. It remains to be seen if he will be brought back to life during the bloated administration of the current Marvel Comics President. He will be back, undoubtedly. It's just a matter of timing, hype and sales.

So, a new white guy with identical physique will step into a shiny variation of the same costume, well-armed to take on the world. This is not the symbol of America as the character was created to be. The defender of our ideals that needed only a shield to deflect attacks on our apple pie and baseball. The new one will be more of a reflection of where we are as a society, I suppose. But without even a fictional symbol of our idealistic values, do we even care to become better than we are?

Cap has been replaced before. He has long been part of the government in some capacity, at least as a semi-official spokesman. Spats with the ever-changing administrators have, more than once, lead to Steve Rogers giving up the mantle of Captain America. His temporary replacement in the late 80s turned out to be a violent sociopath, not that such qualities stopped him from continuing his superhero career. And the original would return and all would instantly be made right again.

This is just the latest swirl in the downward spiral that is modern comic-crafting. (Don't get me started on the overblown Civil War that lead half-assedly to Captain America's death.) The golden rule for mainstream comics: Every character must be "bad-ass." Those too quiet, too wimpy, too light-hearted, and, heaven forbid, too goody-two-shoes... all must be replaced with someone so shiny and awesome that they will sell every single variant cover we can slap them on!

***
Marvel Exec: "Speedball? Whoa, too goofy! We can't be seen with that! Bring in the phoney-baloney angst and make him hurt himself all day long! My god, I'm brilliant!"
***

I suppose the writers have to take most of the blame. They do have all the real power. They could fight bad decisions forced on them, or be bold enough to walk away. But it doesn't happen. They just aren't good enough as artists to write with subtlety. Or worse, they feel they can't be seen writing with subtlety. They all feel they much make a lasting impact; they must leave a legacy. Better to be known as the nutbar that destroyed a decent comic than not to be remembered. But they must not realize they aren't truly leaving permanent work. It will all be undone, retconned and wished away. I don't remember what writer killed off Superman. All I know is Superman is around now, and that story was terrible.

It's a sad state of comic books today, when the status quo is look upon as the worst enemy. It's really not. It's really not. But here's to the new Captain America, wavin' the flag and bustin' some caps in evil's ass.